Being a parent is no easy job. Outside of dealing with your own day to day, work, and responsibilities, you are coupled with the tough task of parenting and managing your children. The reality of the situation is that parenthood is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding tasks one can take on. That of course means it comes with many ups and downs along the way.
As a parent perhaps one of the worst feelings you can experience is feeling like you are a failure to your child.
Failure is a crippling feeling, and in the eyes of a parent it often can cause feelings of hopelessness. When these feelings start to become overwhelming there are a few things we want to remind you of. First off, you’re not alone. You’ve been tasked with one of the hardest jobs you’ll ever experience and you are doing your best. Second, there are ways to turn around the feelings of hopelessness and failure and we want to show you how!
The parenting journey comes with many trials and tribulations along the way.
We want to share some tips and advice on how to keep moving forward on the days where being a parent seems a bit harder.
While it is your job to take care of your child, it is equally as important to take care of yourself. You have been tasked with one of the most rewarding positions you can achieve, parenthood. However, that doesn’t mean you need to lose yourself in the process. On days when parenting feels hard, remember that you still need to show up. For yourself, and for your child. You are enough and on the days when it feels hopeless, remember your reason for showing up.
Put In The Work
No problem gets solved by sitting around. Parenthood means no days off. When you feel like you are failing as a parent, suit up and deal with the problem straight on. Assess areas where you feel like you are lacking and come up with a solution on how to address these concerns. Likewise, give yourself credit in the areas you excel at. It is easy for the bad to overshadow the good, but take a good long look in the mirror and recognize how much you exceed at. Focus on communication, learn your lessons, and grow from your failures!
Apologize. Apologize. Apologize. Not only to your child, spouse, etc but to yourself. Recognize your mistakes or shortcomings and don’t just learn from them, but forgive yourself from them. Life is no perfect reality and parents make mistakes too. Forgive yourself for days and times when you weren’t 100% perfect (because no one is) and learn how to grow from those mistakes. This will not only allow you to move forward but will teach your child appropriate ways to navigate problems and work through difficult situations.
If you think you’re the only parent feeling like you are not living up to the proper expectations of motherhood/fatherhood, we are here to tell you you aren’t. Truthfully, there are many parents who feel like they are failing their children and it’s never an easy conversation to have. In order to learn how to overcome these feelings you have to let it out. Talk about it, cope with it, learn from it. Listen to other parents that are struggling alongside you and learn from their own struggles and difficulties. Help someone else along the way!
You’re doing it. Every.single.day. Most of the time, we misplace our shame and guilt. Use your experience and learn how to turn it into a positive lesson. Learn how to take those feelings and communicate them. Teach your child how to cope and grow through difficulties they are experiencing. Everyone can become better, and everyone can learn from failure. Perhaps the most important thing is giving yourself credit, taking a deep breath, and moving forward.
Parenthood is like putting one foot in front of another. The most important job does not come easily. When you are feeling like a failure as a parent and surrounded by feelings of sadness and hopelessness, take a step back, come up with a plan, and keep trekking forward. You’re doing your best, and it’s more than enough.
Wishing you the day you need to have.