This is a powerful talk by Esta Soler. Witness the amazing work she has done to end domestic violence.

In my practice, I work with couples who are working on their relationships. Effective counseling can help to stop damaging behavior from escalating. Domestic violence is a showing that something needs healing, badly. There are ways to channel anger and frustration into other outlets than resorting to violence. If your tension has been alarming, even to yourself, or your relationship is in a constant state of turmoil, consider reading this article about healthy anger (yeah, it really can be healthy when used in a certain way).

Domestic violence is never okay, yet it has existed since ancient times (unfortunately). In modern times, we can turn the tide on domestic violence, as Esta Soler points out. It takes documentation and public knowledge sometimes. Once the Polaroid was available widely, taking pictures as evidence helped put a face to domestic violence. The internet today has taken documentation of domestic violence even further with video, both live and captured. It’s not something we can hide in the closet with technology like this. And, it’s helped to change public perception and awareness. This in turn, has led to dramatic drops in cases of domestic violence. Soler states that in 30 years of technology, reported cases have declined by 64% in the United States.

It starts at home and inside you. Unhappiness, low self-esteem, unresolved issues, hurt. They all lead to pain in some form. Inwardly, and outwardly projected onto someone else at times. Taking care of your pain immediately and healthily (and maintaining it regularly) is the one way to stop emotions from becoming negative actions. You can learn coping skills to do this on your own, or you can get support to make sure you stay on track. Having someone to validate you and give you a place to blow off steam can help you avoid serious consequences from not taking care of yourself and blowing up at someone you love.