Every morning, I get to wake up to the most beautiful and hilarious two sons a Dad could ask for. I get to help my wife get them ready for the day, provide breakfast for them, and with the new, partial to fully isolated era of covid-19, I also get to help homeschool them a bit (it’s preschool, so very hands on). We take turns and generally try to support the other as we each also have our own work and businesses to tend to as well. 

Why do I feel guilty writing this?

It feels difficult to share the pain behind this as there is so much joy in our family. Yet, the small things, like coffee shops and meeting clients in person (more often), as well a colleagues and the occasional social event – are severely lacking now. And, while I never considered myself a social butterfly kind of guy, I miss it. And, I miss the connection of male friends and brotherly support as much as I love the time I spend with my wife and kids. I feel isolated, even though I am technically not.

Honoring the feelings, I realize it is my duty to let them go, too.

I can feel pissed off. And, I can feel frustrated. I can even have som resentment at the situation. But, if I don’t properly deal with the feelings I am having, I’m not being fair to my family. My feelings aren’t theirs, and they don’t deserve any negativity from my (hopefully short-lived) personal perception of the world. I have to thank the feeling, and release it. 

How to let bad feelings go without hurting anyone else.

Damage control. You feel like crap, but you don’t want it to hurt anyone else. You also can’t bottle it up inside. What the hell are you going to do then? Well, for starters, this. Writing it out, perhaps only to burn it, crumple it up, or post it anonymously somewhere (perhaps not on a forum where feedback is permitted – for your own health), but just getting it out, is a start. 

Next, I would have to say a good sweat is in order. Literally ridding yourself of the toxic feelings can help you be more clear-headed. A shower can help too. Something physical to release the emotional excess. After these three things, you might find that you have a lot more compassion for others and a lot more gratefulness. That’s not to say you don’t need time (soon!) with your friends, or to get some alone time (out of the family house), or some nature time, or whatever it may be. BUT, if you feel stuck, alone and isolated. Those three power moves can help a lot.

What to do to try to curb these isolated feelings in the future?

Of course, as a licensed professional therapist and coach for men, I have to say that all feelings are valid and that we need to respect them all. But, what I am hearing you say is how can I not get so down, or so angry about my isolation that I snap on my family? Because usually there is a breaking point, and I get it. 

What I’d have to say to you is maintenance and consistency. I know, I know, that doesn’t sound fun. It’s the only way. If on a day you are feeling really alone at home, you have to push through and take care of yourself. 

Do one thing for your mind and one thing for your body every day. It can be “small.” Because the small things add up. 

Try this daily for a little while. If things don’t improve (or you just want a coach to help you stay focused on your goals), click here to start becoming the bold, authentic man that you want to be. Because when humankind lets you down, our only option is to become the best version of ourselves. 

That’s what I’m here to help you do too. I’ve been through it myself, and I’ve helped hundreds of others regain that inner spirit, that inner strength – so that they can live the lives of their dreams. 

Let’s Go.

About Bryce Mathern, LPC, Owner & Founder of BrassBalls TenderHeart, a Denver Men’s Therapy Practice

Welcome. If you’re here, something’s hurting. It might be your relationship with your partner, your kids, or your family. Maybe it’s intense work stress. Many of my clients find me when things aren’t going well, and many find me when things are, but could be improved. Life is muddy and messy and unfair at times. And now, very isolated at times. We all know it, but when it happens, it’s hard to get our feet back on the ground. 

That’s where BrassBalls TenderHeart Men’s Coaching comes in. Problem solving, man to man, and creating goals, so that life has vibrancy. I am a coach that helps you find that inner strength to be the bold, yet sensitive man that you want to be and that others want to be around.

The post Alone and Isolated (Even With Family Around). How to Cope. appeared first on BrassBalls TenderHeart.

Fathers and their children have a unique relationship, one that each hopes is built on trust and respect. What can you do when you feel your kids have lost that respect for you? Can you ever get it back? 

In one of my other blogs, I mentioned that kids process bad behavior and events faster than the good ones. Keep that in mind when your child behaves disrespectfully towards you. 

Some examples of why your child’s attitude can get bad over time are:

1. Rules without relationship. That is, being too strict or harsh and not connecting heartfully.
2. Inconsistency. Mom and Dad confuse their children when all they do is disagree when it comes to the rules.
3. All you say to them is “no.”
4. Discipline with level 10 anger.
5. Unrealistic expectations. Again, TOO strict is a thing.
6. Favoritism or comparison.
7. Never admitting when you are wrong.
8. Hypocrisy, example; ‘Don’t text and drive but it’s okay when I do it’.
9. Not allowing your child to speak up.
10. Demanding respect.

What To Do if Your Kid is Giving You Disrespect

If you read those examples and identified with any of them, know that you need to change a few of your ways in order to be respected without actually demanding and asking for it. 

Consider these tips:

1. Don’t take it personally. I know this is very hard, but keep in mind that when you feel disrespected, it’s because your child is growing, going through something, and possibly seeing these behaviors elsewhere. 
2. Be prepared. If it already happened once, know it’s not the last time. It’s part of growing or being a parent. Consider all these tips in order to make the disrespect less frequent.
3. Plan ahead and avoid arguing/fighting. If your child says something rude and tries to pull you into a fight, make it clear that they are doing wrong, and walk away. Go outside and take a breath.Do whatever relaxes you the most.
4. Be determined. If you care about you and your child’s well being, give your best effort in changing the negativity.
5. Be a teacher and a coach. Remember that your kids are looking up to you and that you are their first example in life. Give them tips and advice whenever you have the chance, and if they seem to be going through something, let them know that you are there. 

You, as a parent, need to guide them and teach them right from wrong. This will lead them to a healthier, successful life. I know it can get overwhelming, but it will all be worth it if you keep your head up. 

About Brass Balls Tender Heart | Counseling for Men and Fathers in Denver, CO

Bryce Mathern, LPC is a men’s therapist in the Denver metro area. As the owner and founder of Brass Balls Tender Heart Counseling and Coaching for Men, Bryce helps Dads gain respect, live boldly, and fine tune their sensitivity in order to create amazing relationships. Ready to start making a new life and getting everything you want? Click here to find a time for a session.

Links and Further Reading on Disrespect and Kids for Parents:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-great-parents-do/201503/4-reasons-kids-stop-respecting-their-parents

https://www.charismamag.com/life/women/26565-10-reasons-your-children-don-t-respect-you

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/disrespectful-child-or-teen-5-things-not-to-do-as-a-parent/

https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-deal-with-disrespectful-children-1094948

The post Fathers: How To Deal With Disrespect from Your Kids appeared first on BrassBalls TenderHeart.

In my Denver men’s therapy practice, fathers seeking counseling often experience a range of emotions.

Many times, they fall into these categories:

• Strained father-son relationship
• Difficult father-daughter relationship
• Spousal or partner communication issues
• Parental alienation
• Struggles with fatherhood 
• Troubles with parenthood transition
• Anxiety

The good news is, all of these are “fixable” and it starts with taking the first step, searching for online counseling for dads, therapy for fathers, support for parents, etc.

So, here you are. I’m so glad you’re here.

Denver Men’s Therapy for Fathers at BrassBalls TenderHeart

Dad, let’s figure this out. Sitting down with a therapist means you’re serious about a relationship with your kid or kids. And, you want a good relationship. One that makes each of you feel good. One with secret jokes and handshakes. Conflicted parenting, anger issues, addiction, and instability can bring out the worst in us. Therapy is a place to organize your life and find a way to deal with your demons while highlighting the best parts of yourself. 

Man to man, we can get you to a good place. A place where you’re able to collect yourself when you want to say x, y, or z. And where you can build the tools to consistently bring your best self to the table when you’re parenting. 

Father-Son Relationship Help 

As a father of twin boys, I am uniquely skilled in facilitating the type of relationship that you desire with your son. As fathers, to boys, we want to instill a tough backbone with a tender heart. Many dads don’t know good ways to do this and instead resort to yelling, scolding, or alienating their sons (whether purposely or not). Dads often disregard their son’s emotions as well, wanting them to “toughen up.” 

What if I told you there was a way to find a balance? As a father, you can nurture your son’s emotions, while positively directing them to be strong, bold and independent. (You might even learn how to do this yourself!). Game changer. Let’s do this.

Father-Daughter Connection Support

Oh man, the age old father daughter relationship issues. It’s often hard enough for heterosexual couples to understand each other with the gender divide, but for father and daughter, it can be even more sensitive. Dads don’t want to “say the wrong thing” and they often have to get a bit of an anatomy lesson when they become fathers to daughters. Simply put… they are not as familiar with what it’s like to grow up as a little girl than as a little boy! Lots of education is required here….

So, when daughters grow up a bit and dad feels alienated, how can we fix this? One answer. Therapy for dads. When it comes to daughters, fathers need to learn how to listen very well. They tend to tap into their masculine protective mode with daughters, but this overbearing-ness can push a daughter into being secretive and not wanting to tell her overprotective dad what’s going on. Counseling for dads can help open up insight into how to protect, yet be gentle and open. 

Modern Family Therapy in Denver for Father-Child Relationships

Dad, let’s sort this out. I know you can be the dad you want to be. Men’s therapy designed for the modern dad is what you’ll experience at Brass Balls Tender Heart in Denver, CO. We offer telehealth and online counseling for dads, and depending on current events (and when you’re reading this), we also offer a men’s group and in-person therapy services (just send me a note to find out your current options). 

I’d love to see you feeling good, communicating well, and sleeping better because you are working on your relationships with your partner or kids. 

Wishing you the day you need to have.

Ready? Book Today.

About Brass Balls Tender Heart | Men’s Therapy Denver, CO

Founded and owned by men’s and parenting therapist Bryce Giron Mathern, LPC, Brass Balls Tender Heart is a Denver men’s therapy practice centering on living boldly and authentically. We offer EMDR, Denver parenting support, online counseling for Dads, counseling for anxious Dads, modern family therapy, couples counseling, individual counseling for men, and more. Click to book an appointment. 

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